


Happy

by weareallstoriesintheend_3



Category: Girls (TV), adam sackler - Fandom
Genre: Adam Sackler - Freeform, F/M, adam sackler x reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:08:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29766357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weareallstoriesintheend_3/pseuds/weareallstoriesintheend_3
Summary: Summary: Adam Sackler calms you down during an anxious episode.(i.e a little self indulgent/self soothing writing here, do forgive)Warnings: Anxious thoughts
Kudos: 1





	Happy

_“Kid will you just stop” he raised his hands in the air, exasperated at her incessant want to get away from him._  
  


You curled your arms around yourself, plopping your bag back to the hardwood floor. You’d been at Adams apartment all morning and he’d been climbing the walls wanting to get out of there, bowling was his option of choice today. You’re pretty sure he’d run a mile around the broken grey couch trying to convince you to come with him as you shook your head and insisted you didn’t feel like it. He always came up with something new, every day, his want and joy to spend time with you confusing and overwhelming. You didn’t know how to vocalise that you were also climbing walls of your own - walls of anxiety that weighed you down every time he suggested something like this. You hated yourself for it and instead of talking you fought. He tossed chairs aside and grunted in his usual Sackler fashion and you shouted whilst worrying what the neighbours would think. He could never just let.things.go!

“Listen, I’m just going to go” you had said in a small voice, watching him slap his palms on the dining table in frustration. Adam always did slightly resemble a caveman – most of the time it was endearing, today it was just a cue for you to leave.

“Kid will you just stop”

You’d dropped your bag and raised your eyes from the floor, the look he was giving you was gentler than you were expecting. “Talk to me” a curious eyebrow raised above soft eyes “Please?” “I can’t” you shook your head, trying desperately to blink away the forming tears. “Why not? You think I’m going to fucking judge you kid? Fuck no, talk!” He walks towards you swiftly and in a quick change of pace gently grabs your wrist, tugging slightly to unfold your arms. He turns your hands over and traces your palm “Please, I just want to know what’s always going on with you”

You watched his fingertips trace your palm, the soft tickle of them making your fingers twitch slightly. “I’m scared”

“Of what kid?”

“Everything” you laughed incredulously looking up at him. He tilts his head to the side, quite akin to a puppy, and nods once before pulling harder on your wrist. Guiding you over to the couch he sits you both down with a flop; he doesn’t pull you close or wrap his arms around you like any other day. He sits playing with your fingers in his lap and looks up at you “Go on”.

You took a deep shaky breath, unable to look at him in the eyes you took solace in being able to watch his movements playing with your hands before you started speaking. A minor distraction from the weird mix of anxiety and guilt crushing your chest.

“If I think about it, I’ve always been afraid of doing things. I’ve always been afraid of doings things I love or that are new or just anything really” You shrugged, trying to mentally brush off the harsh voice in your head telling you how stupid you sound. “Mostly I’m afraid of embarrassing myself, I always have been – I have a rather petrifying fear of it. I gave up swimming competitively, which I loved, because I was scared to make a fool out of myself by being a lot worse than everyone else in the competition. I didn’t go ahead and pursue acting school when I was younger cause I was too scared of doing the classes and activities in front of people. I’m not as brave as you” you squeeze his fingers. “I regret that decision quite a lot, theatre is something that I love as you know and I feel like that leap – that chance – might have somehow freed me from this crippling fear I have.” 

Unfortunate tears started rolling down your face and you used the back of your free hand to rub them roughly from your face leaving raw red streaks across your pale skin. Adam watches you intensely, you think to yourself that this is the most he’s stopped talking in hours, “I don’t take opportunities cause I’m scared to make an idiot out of myself, this makes people around me think I’m no fun. You think I’m not fun - I know you do. But it’s not that I don’t want to do these things and have fun, I just feel that I can’t. I feel judged and laughed at and humiliated. I’m terrified of having fun. Just how SAD is that and I hate it!” You tried to take another deep breath except this time it was a sob. You reach up to rub tears from your face but Adam caught your hand first, holding both of yours in one of his. He softly brushed the flowing tears from your face “You know what I hate kid?” You shook your head and shrugged. “When people presume to know what I’m thinking” Your eyes shot to his embarrassed, thinking you’d upset him, but he just smiled “I do think your fun. We have so much fun” “Do we? You always want to go and do other things” “That’s because I thought YOU might want to. Sweetheart, I fucking hate people.” You crack a slight smile and he chuckled. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear before speaking again “I’d rather stay in this apartment all day and read books together, or cook, or anything. Remember that time you let me colour the tattoo that you hate, the one on your leg, in colours and I made it look all pretty?” he starts bouncing slightly like a giddy child and you can’t help but giggle dropping his gaze to rub tears and snot with your sleeve. “There she is” he squeezes your fingers to get you to look at him “There’s my pretty girl” He takes a soft breath as you look up at him, taking your chin gently between his thumb and forefinger “I want to do everything with you, because all that matters to me is that we have fun, you are fun – not the thing we’re doing! So I want to do what you want today, is that okay?” He continues as you nod “Okay. What do you want sweetheart? What sounds fun today?”

“Can you-“ you stop, scooting yourself closer to him, pausing second guessing yourself again. You hate that your anxiety makes you forget so quickly how wonderful a moment is. “Can I what kid?” “Can you read to me from that new script you got? And I was thinking we could order Thai food tonight.” You twiddled your fingers in his shyly but relaxed as goofy grin stretches across his face. “See now THAT sounds fun. Come here silly girl” he pulls you into his chest and kisses the top of your head softly “Please talk to me in future okay, you’re my girl and I want you happy”. His deep voice vibrates through your body and you nod, snuggling closer impossibly closer to his chest. This was happy.


End file.
